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Browns

Unit 1 7 Spiceal Street, St Martins Square, Birmingham, B5 4BH

Visited 17 March 2023



My second time at Browns in Birmingham, the first was before I decided to start this adventure in my life. Another rainy night in Birmingham during my trip to the world's greatest dog show Crufts, and after some walking and searching for somewhere to eat I remembered the delicious meal I had here on my last visit to Birmingham in the fall of 2022.


The friendliness of the staff at Browns in Birmingham is superb, every member of the waitstaff, including the greeter, has a smile on their face and greets you with a warm welcome. This night was quite entertaining, and my server was great fun due to the situations I will describe later in the post. I started with my drink order, which if you are or are not a rum drinker I must recommend the Mai Tai, this was one of the most perfectly balanced and flavourful Mai tais I have ever had.


My starter was the Duck and Orange Parfait, which anyone who knows me if there is duck on the menu, it always comes to the table, a terrine of duck with orange curd and brioche toast points. To my dear friend Corrine, again he was delicious. This was so delicious that I could have ordered two or three more and had that as my main. For my main, I ordered the Chicken Schnitzel with a heritage hen egg and fries. The crumb on the schnitzel was seasoned perfectly and unlike so many other establishments' attempts at schnitzel, the chicken was tender and moist instead of the typical leather shoe sole that others serve.


This meal was quite entertaining with the couple seated about three meters diagonally across from me, the girl doing her best to look like a 1980s Times Square streetwalker, squeezing herself onto the seat with her date, dress hiked up so that all could see her neither region. Now I have never been called a prude, and I have certainly performed my fair share of public displays of affection, but these two could have been an act on a variety show. Then came the lounge performer, if one can call her that. Now as someone who has had training in various performing arts and was once a triple threat with dancing and singing the stronger of my talents, let me say this, a smartphone does not a performer make. Trying to turn Brittany Spears' Toxic into a lounge song for me just does not work. Besides her odd choices for songs, one typically plays chords that form the melodic part of the song and she was so far off that the lyrics and music did not even come close to sounding anything like any song she attempted to sing while not really knowing the words. I by no means say I can play piano, but even I with my limited piano ability could have managed better chords with a smartphone in front of me. I am not sure if the issue with the lyrics was her not having a basic knowledge of the songs or just not really being a trained vocalist, but to put it in an unabashed gay phrase, honey do not quit your day job, because your future as a lounge singer is not going to pay the bills.


I recommend Browns to anyone going to be in Birmingham as a place to get a good meal without breaking the bank. The price for a meal of the quality that I have had on both of my visits is a bargain compared to other restaurants without the same outstanding service and quality of food. My chef's toque comes off to the entire staff at Browns, Birmingham.

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